I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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