So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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