Whod you bang
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
