...so i touched it.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
