i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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