doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
