Define "chronic" masturbator.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i need some magic done to my vagina
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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