Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my shit smells like andre
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
