I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We got so high we made milksteak
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
