do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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