can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
