Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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