A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
