She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
