10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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