I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
