I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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