I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
