He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
