I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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