Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
