Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
