The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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