guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
