i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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