yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
