Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize