I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
