Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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