Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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