Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
