question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
