check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
