my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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