Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
