forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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