Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I checked into jail on foursquare
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
