Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
