I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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