ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
