Sry I called you an 8
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
