My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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