I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you win again, gameday.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
