If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
