now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
