yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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