At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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