Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
