So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My dick has a subreddit
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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