i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
