Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
