I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
