I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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