god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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