ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
