Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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