What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
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