Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
