I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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